Hard to Move On
by Winter-Rae
Summary: After Ellis is nearly killed by the Mud Men, he begins suffering delirium. Rochelle and Nick keep a constant watch over him, though the latter isn’t too happy with it. However, soon Nick opens up enough to recall a painful experience from his past.


**Hard to Move On**

**Title: **Hard to Move On

**Summary:** After Ellis is nearly killed by the Mud Men in the swamp, he begins suffering delirium. Rochelle and Nick keep a constant watch over him, though the latter isn't too happy with it. However, soon Nick opens up enough to recall a painful experience from his past.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing! But I finally have the game!

**Pairings:** Some Ellis/Rochelle

**Warnings:** The usual

**Winter-Rae:** Just so you all know, this could be a sequel to my other Rochelle/Ellis oneshot, '_Pay Attention Ellis_,' check it out if you want. Also, does anyone else torture their favourite characters? Yes? Oh good, I don't feel so bad now. Anyway, read on and enjoy!

* * *

**Hard to Move On**

"Ellis, there's a Mudder behind you!" Nick called out in warning, "Get down."

Ellis dropped low into the swamp so Nick could fire a few rounds at the Infected. It went down with a high pitched squeal, splashing into the murky water. Rochelle made her way over to Ellis and helped him to his feet while Nick chuckled at him.

"That's a good look for you Overalls," he said. Ellis looked down at his mud covered clothes and though he was slightly annoyed with Nick, he decided to shrug it off.

"Oh well," he said good naturedly, "I've heard that mud is good for the skin, right Ro?"

She rolled her eyes and wiped off some of the mud from his face.

"I'm pretty sure they weren't talking about swamp mud sweetie."

Ellis offered her a grin and ignored the scoff from Nick.

"If you kids are done mud wrestling, I'd like to be moving on now," Coach said to them.

"Nick's fault," Ellis said, jerking his thumb towards the gambler, "He doesn't wanna get his fancy suit all dirty so he's making me go first to try and find a path through this shit."

"Three thousand dollars," Nick said, pointing to his clothes, and then pointing to Ellis' outfit he added, "Thirty bucks, tops."

"Maybe, but I make it look good," Ellis replied, "While you just look like an asshole."

Coach and Rochelle laughed while Nick shoved Ellis aside so he could go first.

"God damn kid," he muttered. Rochelle moved to join him while Ellis and Coach watched their backs.

"Come on fancy face," she teased him, "Lighten up."

"When we don't have zombies on our asses every few minutes then, and only then, will I lighten up," he growled. Rochelle sighed and gave up. Trying to talk to him was like trying to coax a chocolate bar out of Coach's hands...not ever gonna happen. She pushed it out of her mind and continued to walk with Nick while Ellis jabbered on behind them.

"You ever seen a gator up close before Coach?" he asked, "Man, when you see those things in the movies you think to yourself 'Those things are so damn slow.' Well, let me tell you, that's not the case. My buddy Keith could testify to that too. There was one time..."

Nick paused suddenly and threw his arm out in front of Rochelle. She stopped, causing Ellis to bump into her.

"What the h..."

"Shh," Nick hushed him. He then pointed ahead of them. Moving through the swamp, towards them, were more Mudders. Though in the murky water they were hardly noticeable; one not paying attention could completely make the mistake of them just being floating pieces of wood, until it was too late.

"Shit," Rochelle muttered, she hated these things. The bastards were like sharks, circling their prey until they found a perfect place and time to strike. They were also unlike sharks however, since they attacked in packs and almost seemed to co-ordinate their attacks. That was just what they needed, smart zombies.

"Get ready ya'll," Ellis said, gripping his shotgun tightly.

"What else did you think we were planning on doing?" Nick muttered.

"Shut up!" Rochelle hissed.

"I was just saying is all."

"Never mind that!" Coach said, "Here they come!"

* * *

The Mudders swarmed them all relentlessly. Even with Ellis blasting as many as he could with his shotgun there seemed to be no end to the things.

"Stay together!" Coach yelled out, "Don't let the bastards separate us!"

Ellis turned to make sure he had everyone in his sights and froze when he lost sight of both Rochelle and Nick.

"Ro!" he yelled out, hacking at a Mudder with a machete he had grabbed.

"I'm fine!" came her reply. Sure enough she was using her pistols very efficiently. He waded in the water towards her and shot at a Mudder who had been swimming up behind her.

"Where's Nick?" he asked.

"He's...shit, he was right behind me!" she said, "Fancy face! Where you at!"

"Hey guys!" Nick's response came, "Over here, get this bastard off of me!"

Nick had been hauled into slightly deeper water by one of the Mudders. Rochelle and Ellis moved as quickly as they could towards him while Coach covered them. Rochelle shot the thing while Ellis hauled Nick up to his feet.

"You're welcome," Ellis said with a grin.

"Yeah, yeah, thanks."

Ellis handed him a gun and went back to hacking at the swarming Infected. However, when a Mudder dodged him, grabbed him around the neck and pulled him under the murky water, he started to panic.

"Ellis!" Rochelle shouted, when she saw him go under. She fought her way towards him but the muddy water slowed her down, as did the Mudders.

"Nick! Coach," she screamed, "Ellis went under! Help me find him!"

* * *

Ellis' initial thought as the Mudder pulled him under was that he was going to die. How could he not? Already his lungs were screaming for air and under the dark water he couldn't see anything. The only thing that told him that he was still alive was the pain. God damn there was so much of it. The Mudder still had a vice grip on him, apparently it didn't crave air as much as he did, and it was clawing at his arms, his chest, and his face.

'Make it stop,' he thought to himself, 'Just make it all stop. Make it let go, let this all be a bad dream. I don't wanna die like this.'

Dying in a swamp, killed by some mindless zombie sparked a burst of energy from him. It might have been small but it was all he needed to calm himself slightly and try to fight back. He grabbed at the thing's arms and managed to wrench himself free. The Mudder didn't seem keen on losing its meal though. It grabbed him around the middle just as he was fighting his way to the surface.

'No!' he screamed in his mind. He had felt his hand breach the surface before the son of a bitch had dragged him down again.

'Let go!'

He kicked at the thing with all his might, feeling its grip loosen he shot to the surface. He was nearly there. He was there! He gasped a huge breath of relief.

"Ellis!"he heard Rochelle call.

"Ro," he groaned, "Help me."

"Hang on hon, I'm coming!"

Ellis let his guard down for only a moment in his relief, but that was all another Mudder needed to once again grab him and pull him away from the oxygen he desperately needed.

He was dragged downward into the murky depths, no longer possessing enough strength to fight the Infected that had a hold on him. He struggled and he tried but there was no more fight in him anymore. Even if the Mudder decided to let him go, Ellis didn't think he could make it back up to the surface again.

In the midst of his seemingly hopeless position he couldn't help but think of his three new friends; one a mentor, another a lover, and then a pain in the ass older brother he never had. He hoped they were at least alright. Maybe the Mudders would leave them alone once they saw that they were going to get a meal after all. If that was indeed going to be the case, dying wouldn't be so bad after all.

'I tried you guys,' he thought to himself, 'I really did.'

Once again, weakly, he clawed for the surface, but it was impossible to obtain. His arms limply fell back and he felt more water rushing into his mouth, nose, and ears as the remainder of his senses slipped away. Suddenly, it felt as if a pair of arms wrapped around him, but he was certain it was only his imagination. Still . . . this grip comforting, not restricting like the Mudder's had been. He relaxed into it as oblivion washed over him.

* * *

"Ellis!" Rochelle yelled out when she saw Coach break the surface with the young man in his arms, "Oh my God, Ellis!"

"Quiet!" Nick told her, "You'll get the damn things after us again."

They had made it to a rundown dock where a safe house stood nearby. Nick wanted to go and check it out, but with Rochelle near breaking down and Coach in the water with an unconscious Ellis he dared not move. The last thing they needed was another incapacitated team member.

Rochelle knelt down on the dock and reached out her arms to take Ellis from Coach when they were close enough to her. She hauled him up and was stunned at the lifelessness of his body as it fell against hers.

"No, no, no," she moaned in anguish, wishing that Ellis would look up at her with that sweet smile of his and say he was fine. But that didn't happen. Carefully, she laid Ellis down and gently pressed on his chest, causing the dirty swamp water to pour out of Ellis' mouth. But other than that, he made no movements.

Coach, with Nick's help, hauled himself out of the water. They both watched grimly as Rochelle continued to press on Ellis' chest in an effort to remove all the remaining water.

"Come back to me boy," they heard her mutter, "Don't you leave me now."

She then bent down, listening for any sign of a heartbeat. At first she was certain that she wouldn't find one. She had become so used to seeing death these past few weeks, but the thought of losing someone she cared about was not acceptable. Her own heart was racing as she listened desperately for a soft thump.

At last she found it. Ellis was still alive, though he needed care and attention immediately or he probably would not last.

"Is he breathing?" Nick asked as Coach moved to help her if needed.

Rochelle shook her head. Though Ellis' heart was still beating very faintly, the water had almost completely asphyxiated him. Without immediate attention to the problem, Rochelle knew that Ellis would certainly die. Quickly she set about applying artificial respiration.

'If I had only been faster!' she inwardly screamed at herself, 'He called for me! He needed me and I couldn't get to him in time!'

Coach watched as Rochelle desperately worked on Ellis. He knew that if she kept working like that she would pass out from exhaustion. However, she leaned back before he could say anything to her, obviously hoping that Ellis would start breathing on his own. Then she was rewarded as the southern young man sputtered and coughed, rolling onto his side as more water dripped from his mouth. Weakly Ellis moaned, going limp again and falling once more onto his back.

He could vaguely hear his friends' voices in the current state he was in, though he was so dazed and hurt that they sounded far away and as if they were being heard through a thick fog. There was Coach, asking Ellis if he could hear them and if he could give them some kind of a sign if he did. Then Nick saying that Ellis was probably too out of it to be able to respond, even if he could hear them. The last thing Ellis was aware of before he went under again was Rochelle holding him protectively and whispering that she was sorry.

* * *

"Come on girl," Coach said to Rochelle gently, "Let's get him into the safe house over there, we'll be alright in there in case those things come back."

She glanced up at him and nodded. In a display of great strength she and Nick didn't know he had, Coach picked Ellis up and carried him towards the small safe house which was just a little ways away from the dock. Nick approached Rochelle and offered her his hand; she looked at it for a moment before smacking it away and following after Coach.

'Women,' Nick thought to himself before following as well, ignoring the calls of the Mudders deep in the swamp.

* * *

Once inside the safe house Rochelle quickly located a few blankets and set them down in a corner for Ellis.

"Is he gonna be okay Coach?" she asked once the man had set Ellis down and covered him.

"Not sure," he said, "What I do know, is that we need to get these wounds cleaned. Swamp water could infect them."

Rochelle nodded and grabbed up a spare medical kit. She and Coach then set to work cleaning and wrapping the worst of the scratches and bites from the Mudder.

Nick stood at the door, watching them do this. The gambler was a bit stunned to find that his hands were shaking as he went to set down his guns. He had thought he was doing a very good job of concealing his emotions, as always, but it seemed that perhaps his expertise at doing so was failing in this case. It just seemed so eerily strange and wrong, to see cheerful, perky Ellis lying so still and quiet. The only real indication that he was alive at the moment was the sound of his raspy breathing, and the occasional moan.

Once Coach and Rochelle had finished the latter stayed next to Ellis, holding his hand in hers, stroking the back of it with her thumb.

Coach straightened up and heaved a sigh.

"All we can do now, is wait," he said, "And pray."

"He'll be alright," Rochelle whispered, whether it was a question or a statement the other two weren't sure how to respond. Coach, out of the corner of his eye, saw Nick shake his head. Did he know something that he and Rochelle didn't?

Ellis moaned suddenly and then shuddered. He hadn't ever completely woken up since they had rescued him. Now he was curling into a ball, as if trying to take refuge within the folds of the blanket. It was possible that he was cold, of course, but Coach couldn't help but have the feeling that it might be something else.

"He might go into delirium."

Nick's flat, emotionless voice brought Coach and Rochelle's heads up with a snap. The gambler wasn't making eye contact with either of them but Coach saw in his eyes that something was truly bothering him, a haunted remembrance.

"I've seen it happen before," Nick went on, though he gave no explanation of the circumstances for which he had seen it. Rochelle wished he would shut up. She didn't want to hear what he had to say right now, or ever again for that matter. But Nick continued.

"I've seen perfectly sane men go out of their minds after similar incidents of being out too long in the cold water and such. Sometimes they don't ever recover from it, either."

Coach saw the heartbroken expression on Rochelle's face and he frowned at Nick.

"Ellis is not going to die," he growled. But then he pondered on Nick's words. The way he had phrased things, and the way he was now unconsciously showing how much the incident had upset him, made Coach wonder just exactly what the younger man had seen.

But Nick offered no further conversation on the subject, nor did he agree that Ellis wouldn't die.

"You two should stay in here with him," Coach said, "I can take the first watch."

Neither Rochelle nor Nick seemed too thrilled with the idea but they said nothing to him or to each other after he stepped out.

Ellis moaned, starting to toss about on the makeshift bed. Rochelle watched him with concern. It was hard to see Ellis like this. He looked so ill . . . so silent. . . . It just seemed wrong.

"If I had gotten there fast enough, maybe this wouldn't have happened."

Nick glanced at her as she said this. He didn't know what to say to her. He sure didn't blame her for this and there was no way in hell that Ellis would either. Hell even if something was her fault the kid wouldn't blame her; feelings did stupid shit like that to people.

"There was nothing you could have done," he told her, "Blaming yourself isn't going to help anything."

She threw him another glare. Clearly he had said the wrong thing. What the hell did she want from him? Maybe he was just being insensitive, that's what his ex-wife used to say about him, his younger sister as well.

"He doesn't look well," he observed, changing the subject.

Rochelle reached out, brushing Ellis' hair aside and touching his forehead as she checked for a fever. Her expression darkened as the younger man jerked away from her grasp, something he would never do.

"And he isn't acting well, either," Nick added. She shook her head.

"Ellis," she called softly, though she knew that Ellis was probably too out of it to hear her, "It's just me sweetie. You're safe now, I promise."

She laid a hand on Ellis' shoulder; the only response was that the he pulled away from her again. Rochelle felt stung, even though she knew it wasn't his fault, but still; in the time when she wanted to hold and comfort him she wasn't able too.

"Rochelle," Nick said after a moment, "he's going into delirium and this is just the start."

"How do you know that?" Rochelle demanded of him.

He shrugged.

"You don't even give a shit about any of us anyway," she lashed out at him, "So if you're not going to help me, get the hell out!"

Nick's anger flared.

"Fine!" he snapped, "I don't have to tell you shit!"

The gambler then stalked out of the safe house and slammed the door behind him. Coach had heard their exchange but chose not to interfere. Powerful personalities like Nick and Rochelle's needed time to cool off before they were asked to open up about what was bothering them.

* * *

Nick paced angrily. Although he wasn't sure what bothered him more; the fact that Rochelle had yelled at him, or the fact that he didn't offer what he knew.

He had seen that sort of behaviour before. And the thought of poor Ellis suffering through it bothered him greatly. Delirium preyed upon the mind's weaknesses and caused the victim to hallucinate and distort reality. And it could make someone go completely mad. Unconsciously he shuddered as he thought back upon it, the screams and the fighting. He had been so young, witnessing all of that. He had wanted badly to step in and help, but he hadn't known what to do. And Lizzy, his sister, had been clinging to him in confusion and fright. The child hadn't understood what had been going on at all.

* * *

Coach had the feeling that it was going to be a very long night, for all four of them.

And there was Nick, displaying his obviously tormented feelings again. Coach's eyes narrowed as he watched the gambler pace. In his eyes was reflected the knowledge of what he had seen in the past. But of course he wouldn't make mention of that aloud. He wouldn't tell the circumstances that had acquainted him well with delirium and its possible effects. And Coach wasn't the type to pry. If Nick wanted to divulge his secrets, he would.

Leaving Nick to the watch he approached Rochelle.

"Ro, you need to sleep," he said.

"I can't Coach," she replied, "I have to be awake for when he wakes up."

He placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Okay, just promise me you'll sleep later."

She offered a sad smile.

"I will Coach."

"Good girl."

* * *

_Ellis stumbled to his feet looking around the swampy area he had woken up alone in. Alone, now that was a terrifying thought in itself, where were the others? They wouldn't leave him behind, would they? No, Coach wouldn't let them and neither would Rochelle. And as much as Nick seemed to dislike him the other two would be enough to not let him ditch him either._

"_Hello?" he called out, "Anyone here? Hey, where are you guys? Coach? Nick? Rochelle?"_

_He suddenly froze as an eerie sobbing filled the air around him. Sobbing that could only belong to a Witch. Ellis quickly looked around for a weapon but there weren't any near him._

'_Shit,' he thought to himself. He slowly, as though being pushed along by some invisible force, moved towards the weeping. _

_The closer he got the louder and bitterer the cries became. He squinted in the darkness and saw the slouched form of the crying Witch. Then he saw something that made him pause. Since when did Witch's wear pink, and since when was their skin so dark?_

'_Oh please God,' he prayed, 'No.'_

_He inched closer._

"_Rochelle?" he whispered._

_Sure enough, as he spoke her name, the girl turned to face him. He was right; it was Rochelle, or at least what was left of her. Her soft hands now bore elongated and lethal claws, dripping with someone's blood. Her once kind eyes, the ones that had tossed him plenty of loving looks, now wept bitter tears of crimson fluid. Her lips, the ones he had kissed many times before, were blood stained._

"_Ellis!" she wailed, the very sound chilled him to the core, "Why did you leave me?"_

"_I-I didn't Ro," he stammered, "I'd never..."_

_Another cry from her cut him off. She turned away from him and he was over taken by an urge to hold and comfort her. Even though he knew that if he moved any closer to her, she would probably kill him, thus adding to her grief. Whose blood was she covered in anyway?_

"_Do you know why a Witch cries Ellis?" she sobbed, "I do, thanks to you, I do!"_

_She wrapped her arms around herself, her claws digging into her own arms, blood trickled down from the wounds and she sobbed louder._

"_Rochelle," he said, overtaken by his own sadness, "I'm so sorry this happened to you."_

_Another cry from behind him made him jump and turn his back to Rochelle. That was a Hunter. But where was it? Ellis spun back around to warn her, but she was gone, only her screams still echoed in his ears._

"_Rochelle!" he called out, "I'm sorry! Please, don't leave me alone! Ro!"_

_But there came no reply from her. What the hell had happened? How did they get separated like this? They had always been good at sticking together. Didn't Rochelle once call him the glue that held the team together? Was all of this really his fault?_

_Suddenly Ellis was knocked off his feet by the Hunter who had been stalking him. When he tried to shove it off he caught a glimpse of its face and he shuddered. This Hunter wasn't like the others he had encountered before, as none of them wore three thousand dollar suits. _

_This Hunter, was Nick._

"_Hey there Ellis," he growled, once again mocking the younger man's accent. His claws gripped Ellis' shoulders so tight that he could feel them pierce the skin._

"_Nick," Ellis gasped, "What happened to you?"_

_Nick let out a noise that could have been a harsh laugh if it wasn't interrupted by the Hunter's shrill cry._

"_Like you don't know?" he asked, "You're the one who screwed up, again, but then why doesn't that surprise me. I always knew you'd get us all killed. I just never expected a death like this!"_

_Ellis lifted his arms to shield his face as Nick swiped a clawed hand at him, cutting his arm._

"_I didn't do anything," Ellis wailed, "This isn't my fault! I didn't leave you guys."_

"_Oh but you did," the older man said, a cruel smirk forming on his blood covered lips "Face it Ellis, we're dead, worse than dead, and it's all...your...fault!"_

"_NO!" _

* * *

Nick was startled half out of his wits when Ellis screamed. The poor boy had opened his eyes a few minutes ago and had even sat up, but he was obviously still out of it. He kept gazing around the room; eyes widened in alarm, and then had struck out with his hands as if he was trying to push something.

"What's happening to him?" Rochelle asked Coach, fear evident in her voice.

Coach shook his head, not sure, he could only assume that Nick had been right. Ha laid his hands firmly on Ellis' shoulder, looking into the younger man's vacant, sickened gaze.

"Ellis," he said, "Can you hear me?"

Nick had re-entered the same house to watch the exchange. He knew that Ellis couldn't hear them, no matter how much they wanted him too. The problem was that Ellis senses were so distorted at the moment that they only fuelled whatever hallucinations he was having.

"If you can hear me, Ellis, you have to focus on my voice and forget about whatever else you're experiencing at the moment. Anything else you feel is happening is not real."

Ellis screamed again when Coach touched him and struggled violently, trying to shove him away. In his poor mind, the body he had discovered was like Nick and Rochelle's only Coach had become a Charger.

Rochelle had wrapped her arms around Ellis in an attempt to calm and comfort him. She rocked him slightly while a single tear ran down her face.

"I'm sorry!" Ellis wailed then, looking up, but not really seeing them as his eyes filled with tears, "I didn't mean to leave you behind!"

Coach, Rochelle and Nick all exchanged looks. Whatever was happening to Ellis in his mind, clearly involved each of them in some way. Ellis continually struggled against them until he grew dizzy and felt himself going limp.

Rochelle continued to speak softly and calmly to him, hoping that somewhere her words were getting through to him.

"He's burning up," she observed, "Is there any water in here? I want to try and bring his fever down."

Nick had to admit that he admired just how well Rochelle was taking all of this. Although he could see the hurt in her eyes and knew it was killing her to see Ellis in so much pain, she still tried to act tough, reminding him of his mother in that moment. He shook the thought away though; he didn't want to remember any of that stuff.

He took it upon himself to hand her a bowl filled with cool water and a clothe. She didn't say anything to him but nodded her thanks. She then brushed the material over Ellis' pale face and neck.

While she saw to him Nick left again. This time, Coach grew annoyed with him. He followed after him.

"You gonna take off?" he asked him. Nick frowned.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're acting all anxious and shit," the older man replied, "Like Ellis being sick, and us staying with him is a waste of time."

Nick squared his shoulders, determined to not let Coach back him into a corner.

"Hey, if you guys think he'll get better that's great, whatever helps you sleep at night."

Coach crossed his large arms over his chest. A gesture that Nick had come to realize meant that Coach was very pissed off.

"Look Coach," he said, pointing to the safe house, "I just can't deal with that shit okay? You wouldn't understand."

"And neither does Rochelle," Coach added, "You acting indifferent is making her think that you don't care."

"I could care less what she thinks."

"You're going to stay in there and help her."

"To hell I am!"

Coach grabbed Nick's arm and half dragged him to the safe house, he then shoved him inside and slammed the door closed. Nick, in an act of defiance, kicked at the door in annoyance. He then turned to look at Rochelle; she had her eyebrow arched at him. Apparently she had witnessed his little tantrum.

'Not one of my finest moments,' he thought to himself.

Rochelle turned away from him, returning her full attention to Ellis, who didn't look any better. She squeezed out the clothe and placed it on his forehead.

"How's he doing?" Nick asked finally. Rochelle threw him a look that clearly said 'like you even care.'

Nick thought that he would welcome the silence from the two of them. However, that was not the case, it was killing him. He found himself missing Ellis' stupid stories about the shit he and Keith had done. Even Ellis' attempts to impress Rochelle when he clearly didn't have too were a missed source of amusement. Nick even missed Rochelle telling him to grow up, shut up, and to leave Ellis alone.

"Has his fever gone down any?" he asked, in an attempt to fill the silence. Rochelle didn't answer; she just shook her head slowly.

"For one who said she wasn't a nurse you're doing a pretty good job," he offered.

"Nicolas," she said stiffly.

"Yeah?"

"Shut the fuck up."

Well, that was better than nothing, wasn't it? Nick pressed his lips in a thin line. He moved across from her and sat, his back against the wall of the safe house.

'I don't know if you exist God,' he silently prayed, 'But I'd really owe you one if you let this kid pull through. I'm not asking for myself or anything like that, he and Rochelle are pretty decent people, so I'm asking for them.'

What would happen if Ellis didn't wake up again? Or if he did, but not the same free spirit he'd been before? Nick didn't know how he would handle it...how Rochelle and Coach would handle it.

Ellis then let out a whimper and shuddered as Rochelle took his hand in her own.

"Ellis sweetie, I'm here," she said, "It'll be okay."

An uncomfortable moment of silence hung in the air.

"I knew a man once," Nick started, not really caring if she snapped at him again, he had to say this, "Good guy, family man, you know the type. He had a wife, a really sweet woman, and two kids; a boy and a girl. The perfect little family"

Rochelle glanced over at him and saw that his hands were shaking; she also could hear the bitterness in his voice as he spoke. She waited quietly for him to continue. Ellis gave a rasping breath during the silence

"Of course the perfect family never lasts," the gambler continued, "The man started to change. He started to get angry and depressed all the time. He'd throw things, which scared the shit out of the kids, who didn't understand why he wasn't the same man they always knew and counted on."

He leaned back, expressionless, and ran a hand through hair.

"Their mother said that he was just upset about some things and that he was 'sick'. But he still loved them, she would assure them, and eventually things would get better."

He went quiet for a moment. Rochelle looked at him, waiting for him to speak again.

"But they didn't?" she asked, taking him by complete surprise. Here he had thought she wasn't listening at all to him.

Rochelle had always been a decent listener, even if she didn't care to hear what someone was saying she seemed to just absorb stuff. However, Nick's story seemed to be important to him, so ignoring him completely didn't seem like the right thing to do.

She was certain that she knew who Nick was speaking of, though he said nothing aloud. She would play along for the time being.

"They started to," Nick responded after another moment of silence, "But only for a little while, it didn't last long."

"You really are worried about him," Rochelle said softly, "Aren't you?"

Nick shrugged, making her sigh.

"No matter how pokerfaced you try to be, your eyes tell me otherwise."

"I think it's important he makes it," Nick pointed out, "For your and Coach's sakes."

Rochelle looked back at the younger man, her heart giving a painful lurch as he whimpered.

"What happened to the man?" she asked, desperate for conversation now.

"He started to drink," the gambler recalled, "That, of course, hadn't helped his rages any. One night he had gone out, searching for liquor anywhere he could find it, funny how people like that always seem to find what they're looking for," he replied, "Unfortunately, he didn't watch where he was going and wound up falling into a pond. By the time he they found him and brought him home, he was half-drowned and more than a bit ill. His wife, of course, tended to him faithfully, praying for his recovery. Her children helped when they could, though the youngest didn't really understand what was going on."

Ellis started to moan again, crying out that he was sorry and that he just wanted his friends back.

"We're all here, Ellis," Rochelle said softly, laying her hand on his shoulder. She knew Ellis probably couldn't hear her, but she felt that she had to try, anyway.

"I wish that was true," he whispered sadly, falling still again. For him, his friends were dead. His delirium and his guilt-induced hallucinations had made him believe that. Rochelle couldn't really be speaking to him, unless it was her spirit.

Rochelle closed her eyes tightly, willing back her tears as she felt her heart twist. She hated this so much. Ellis didn't deserve to suffer this way!

Nick placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Be strong Rochelle," he said.

"I'm trying...keeping talking to me."

Nick nodded and started to continue on with his story.

"If the man had been dangerous before, he was even worse after that. He was even more violent and hateful; he didn't appreciate what his wife did for him. Sometimes he would hit his wife in front of the kids."

His eyes had taken on a faraway look as he remembered this. It had been a horrible time in his life.

Rochelle's expression darkened, sickened by what she was being told.

"The children must have been terrified," she noted.

"Yeah," Nick agreed, sitting down next to her, "The youngest, Lizzy, would go to her brother for comfort and answers, not that he could give her any. He didn't even know what was wrong with their dad. Sometimes he wished that he would just leave."

Again Nick went silent. When he finally continued, his voice had hardened.

"One night he was so convinced that his family were out to get him that he picked up a pistol and went after them," his voice cracked slightly, "But what he didn't know was that his son had also been teaching himself how to use a gun. So when the man pulled the gun on the wife, the son took one out as well and told him to leave. Thankfully the man did, but only to stick that pistol in his mouth and blow his own damn head off."

When he had finished Rochelle was about to say something to him but Ellis had grabbed her arm abruptly, his blue eyes open and wide, but glazed.

"Ro...Rochelle," he whispered, his voice breaking. He couldn't be seeing Rochelle. She was dead—never coming back. He had just watched her being repeatedly stabbed again and again. And then Nick had been run through viciously with a sword. Ellis had been forced to stand by and watch their deaths, unable to do anything to help them.

"It's me Ellis," Rochelle replied quietly, but she wasn't certain her words were getting through.

Ellis shuddered, unable to comprehend, and then gazed about the room to find Nick sitting next to her.

"Nick?" he called out as best as he could, reaching out shaking fingers to grasp at him now. He hated his world of nightmares and ugliness. What was worse was that for him, it was all real. And what was truly real seemed to be the fantasy. He had watched his friends die in more than one horrible scenario by now.

Gently Nick took hold of Ellis' flailing hand.

"Yes," he responded, feeling a chill go up his spine at how clammy the boy's flesh felt, "You're safe, Ellis, and we're here with you. Everything will be fine."

He could only hope. He had become pessimistic by nature, but he knew that he had to encourage Ellis now. Giving him negative emotions wouldn't help his condition. And he did want Ellis to be fine. He didn't want anything horrible to happen to him.

"Fine?" Ellis repeated vaguely. "Naw. . . It can't be. . . . Not anymore. . . ."

Wearily he closed his eyes, unwillingly slipping into another of his agonizing dreams. Nick sighed, shaking his head, and let go of Ellis hand, laying it back on the bed.

"And what happened to the man's family?" Rochelle asked finally, though she was certain that she knew. One member of that family was in the room with her right now.

Nick sighed.

"The wife died of cancer ten years ago," he answered, "The daughter has her own family, she's a veterinarian. The son...well he's...an asshole."

Rochelle sighed too.

"You're not an asshole Nick," she said softly. She wondered idly why he had decided to tell her all of this. Nick had never spoken about himself to any of them before.

* * *

_Ellis dropped to his knees amidst the blood and gore that pooled around him, tears falling from his blue eyes. He couldn't understand. Why was this happening? Why did he have to continually watch Coach, Nick and Rochelle being killed? Wasn't one time enough? It was as though he was trapped in a never-ending horror movie. He was just about at the end of his rope. He couldn't take it any longer._

"_Rochelle," he sobbed, "Nick, Coach; I'm sorry. If I had fought harder that Mudder wouldn't have dragged me down and you would all still be here."_

"_Too bad isn't it?"_

_Ellis winced. That harsh growling voice belonged to the Hunter that Nick had become. He wrapped his arms around himself and tried to block them out; Rochelle's sobbing and Coach's deep sneering laughter._

"_All alone Overalls?" Nick growled._

"_I think it's starting to take its toll on you," Coach added._

_Ellis froze as Rochelle's long and bloodied fingers were placed on his shoulders._

"_I think you're losing it," she sobbed in his ear._

_Ellis pulled away from her._

"_Stop," he begged, "Don't do this to me. I said I was sorry, I would never hurt any of ya'll, we're like..."_

"_Like what?"Nick sneered, letting out a sudden Hunter like scream, as if he was growing impatient with speaking to Ellis, "A family? Is that what you were going to say?"_

"_You're family's dead kid," Coach pointed out._

"_No!"_

"_Yeah, they are," he said, "Here, I'll show you."_

_With that said Coach, using his massive Charger arm reached out to lift up Rochelle's limp body from the ground. He then held out the corpse for Ellis to see. Blood continued to drip down from Rochelle's wounds and pooling on the ground. It coated Coach's large arm, though he didn't seem to notice. The woman's head hung down, her arms spread out, one nearly touching Ellis. He reached out to touch her hand._

"_Put her down!" he screamed. What right did these zombies have to desecrate Rochelle's body! Ellis found himself getting more and more angry._

"_Just leave her alone! Leave me alone!"_

_Angry tears gathered in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. The Charger like Coach let Rochelle's body fall back to the floor in the blood. Ellis crawled to her and cradled her in his arms, Nick and Coach's own bodies lying not too far off. When he looked down at Rochelle's face only then did his tears finally fall. He couldn't take this any longer._

* * *

Nick glanced at his watch and sighed, it was going on for four in the morning, but neither he nor Rochelle cared. They were both ready to drop, but somehow they were both determined to stay awake. Sleep was greatly wanted and needed for them, but how could they think of sleeping when poor Ellis was suffering so much? Nick knew that he couldn't. And Rochelle's bloodshot eyes were a testimony to the fact that she was determined to not sleep as well.

Suddenly, Ellis' eyes snapped open. He threw off the blankets and struggled to get up to his feet. Instantly Nick and Rochelle were next to him, trying to stop him. But Ellis would have none of it.

"Let me go!" he screamed, desperately struggling against the both of them. His eyes were wild with panic.

"I gotta find the others! Don't ya get it!"

In his mind Rochelle, Nick and Coach were somewhere out in the swamp. Without him there he was sure they would soon be swarmed by the huge amounts of Infected.

"Ellis!" Rochelle said, gripping his shoulders, "We're right here sweetie."

Nick however, decided to try a different approach.

"Ellis, this isn't going to help you or your friends," he said, referring to himself and the others in the third person, "If you rush into something you might get hurt."

Ellis didn't calm down though and continued to fight against Rochelle's grip until wearily he slumped against her chest.

"Please," he said weakly, "the zombies, if I don't go now, please! I can't let them down again."

"Oh Ellis," Rochelle whispered, "You never let us down...You don't have to worry about them, they're safe. But, they're so worried about you. You need to lay back down and rest so that you'll get better."

Ellis was silent for a long moment.

"They're safe?" he asked, looking up at Rochelle with his glassy eyes, "Really?"

"Of course," Rochelle told him softly

Ellis allowed Rochelle to set him down on the blankets again. It was unclear whether it was because he fully accepted her words or because he was simply too tired to move anymore.

"They're safe now?" he said again, his tone urgent. "You're sure?"

"Yes," she said, placing a hand on his chest, "Go to sleep, Ellis."

Ellis sighed in weariness, closing his eyes and shuddering weakly.

"They know I'm sorry, don't they?"

"They know," Nick answered firmly. Ellis' breathing deepened and he slipped into oblivion.

* * *

The morning eventually came, bringing with it heavy raindrops that plinked against the windows of the safe house. Nick and Rochelle barely noticed the arrival of the rain. Both completely worn out and exhausted. Nick was slumped against the wall and Rochelle was fighting to keep her eyes open. Ellis had been asleep or unconscious now for a while and had seemed to settle down, so his friends were hopeful that the worst of the delirium was over.

And slowly awareness was beginning to wash over the young mechanic. For a while he had been sleeping soundly, for once not dreaming of anything and being grateful for it. Now he was starting to regain consciousness in the real world. His muscles were aching dully, most likely from his fight with the Mudders.

He opened his eyes and was greeted by Rochelle's tired, but still beautiful face. Weakly he attempted to reach up and touch her, but it hurt too much to try to move his arm at the moment, so he didn't. Instead he glanced around and saw Nick against the wall and Coach out by the door. But they looked alright, save for being tired. Ellis perked up immensely at this.

"Ro! Coach! Nick! Ya'll are okay!" His voice came out rasping, but he didn't care, so great was his relief to see them. Somewhere in his memories he recalled seeing them both lying dead or looking like some horrible Infected. But . . . those were only dreams, weren't they? This was reality now, and his friends were fine . . . he hoped.

The three of them started as soon as Ellis spoke.

"Ellis!" Rochelle cried out. He offered her a grin and slowly forced himself to sit up. Once he was upright Rochelle threw her arms around him. Ellis retuned her hug.

"We're all fine," she said, "But what about you?"

"I feel okay," Ellis said, "A bit tired, and sore."

"You gave us a scare boy," Coach said to him.

Ellis swallowed. All of the others looked so relieved to see him. But not as relieved as he was that they were alright, and that the zombies in his mind had just been a nightmare.

"Well, I'm sorry if I did," he said, "Didn't mean it."

"Of course not," Rochelle said, finally letting her grip on him loosen so she could wipe her eyes.

"Ro?" Ellis said in confusion, "Don't cry, I'm just fine! I feel like I could take on a Tank, really...Well maybe not alone anyway."

"Yeah well, we wouldn't make you do that right away," Nick said. Ellis grinned.

"So...ya'll were with me this whole time?"

"Yeah," Nick said.

"Didn't give you too much trouble did I?"

Rochelle placed her hand on his forehead to check for any trace of a fever.

"Not at all, you just had us all worried."

Ellis sighed and leaned back into the blankets.

"Well, nothing to worry about now," he said, "Like I said, I feel much better now...thanks though ya'll for staying with me."

"No problem," Nick said with a shrug, he then slumped against the wall and in moments his low snore told the others he was asleep. With Ellis awake and alert Nick's body demanded that he get some much needed sleep, and he was happy to give in.

Coach and Rochelle chuckled at their sleeping friend.

"You need anything else?" Coach asked Ellis. The young man shook his head.

"I'm good; ya'll should be getting some sleep now though."

Rochelle picked up a spare blanket and placed it over Nick. She then tossed a tired smile at Ellis. She too wanted to sleep but she also wanted a few moments alone with Ellis. So when Coach settled and started to sleep she moved next to Ellis.

"If I had been just a little faster," she started.

"Now don't you go blaming yourself Ro," he told her.

"I was worried that I lost you," she admitted. Ellis gave her another sweet grin.

"Aww, and here I thought you didn't care," he teased lightly. She frowned.

"Don't joke," she scolded him, "I'm serious."

"I know that Ro," he said, "I just don't want ya to feel bad. I'm alright now."

Ellis placed his hands on her shoulders and then placed a kiss on her cheek. Rochelle again wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close to her. Ellis was very much relieved that his nightmares were over and that he could see his friends well and whole again. As he held Rochelle, he glanced around the safe house at the others. They were all his adopted family now; those nightmares couldn't take that away from him no matter how hard they tried. Even when they said that he was all alone, he really wasn't; Coach, Rochelle and even Nick had stayed up with him all night to make sure he was okay.

Rochelle ended their embrace and kissed him again; feeling her stress lessen when he responded to her touches as he always had done, instead of pulling away from her like he had last night. She then let out a yawn, making Ellis chuckle.

"I wore you out," he said, "Come on Ro, time for you to get some sleep."

She was about to argue but when he pulled her next to him and threw a blanket over the two of them, it didn't take long for the comforting warmth of his body against hers to help her relax even more.

"I'm so glad you're okay," she whispered to him as her eyes drifted shut.

"Same here," he replied softly.

* * *

**Winter-Rae:** Nice and long for you all. I hope you all liked it. I had a lot of fun writing Nick in this one. Anyway, thanks for reading! Cheers!


End file.
